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Is your boyfriend good Marriage Material?
2 March 2012
There is no perfect way to find out if you are with your Mr Perfect. In fact If you are looking for a Mister who is Perfect, you might as well stop looking and recognize that perfection simply doesn’t exist.
However, here are 5 signs you can use to determine if he is good "Marriage Material"
#1 Use your intuition
Never totally ignore your gut instincts. At the same time, you should not *completely* rely on your intuition when considering whether he is the right one.
It’s just how physically attracted you are towards him, usually just a sense or a feeling that this person is the right one.
Whether your instincts are saying he is or isn’t the one, it’s an important consideration. Many times our instincts are right. But sometimes they can be wrong, as people sometimes represent themselves in a very different way to what they actually are.
#2 MUTUAL Respect
If there is respect there is love, respect is the first and top priority in a relationship. And it has to be both ways, you respect him and he respects you.
Is he ready to compromise? Concerned about your feelings? Does he know if something is wrong? Does he appreciate and value your opinion? Is he happy for you when you succeed?
On the other hand, if either one of you are unwilling to compromise or routinely dismisses concerns and feelings, then you have some tell-tale signs that there is a lack of respect.
If you greet one another’s successes with jealousy instead of enthusiasm and support, you need to take a minute to assess the level of respect that exists in your relationship.
It is possible to be really attracted to someone but not have enough respect for them to make them good marriage material. For example lap dancers, dim toy boys, good looking people who you find really wet/whimpy as well as the chronically unambitious or lazy.
This is not to say that these people are not worthy of respect or aren't respected by others ... But you need to be able to respect your potential partner yourself according to your own values.
#3 He accepts you as you are
If he accepts you for not only the good in you but also your flaws and weakness, he might just be the one for you.
If this is the case you can have confidence in knowing that you can be yourself and he isn't going to be disillusioned a few years down the line.
#4 Core beliefs and core aspirations
Beliefs make us who we really are. They are usually those qualities that will give you a clue as to whether or not he is the right one. If you don’t share the same fundamental core beliefs and struggle to happily compromise, consider that to be a BIG red light.
You can live with some differences in belief - but coming back to point 2 - is their respect?
You need to check if you are having to compromise your core beliefs for him. If you are changing your values in order to please someone else, then you are trying to change yourself and that is never a good sign in a relationship.
Being forced to go to a church you don't believe in or -equally bad- to stop going to one that you do believe in is not a good sign. Having to suppress your thoughts on political or family matters is also a no-no
As well as too strong beliefs you need to watch out for a lack of any belief. A man of real substance is flexible, but will possess firm, well-reasoned values.
Core aspirations - those things that we really, really want and intend to do - are also important to consider. If one of you is driven towards a high flying career and the other to get back to nature and live simply then there could be major frustration later on.
#5 He has SOME of the qualities you wish for in your partner
You need to figure out what actual qualities you want in a long term mate – someone you'll be with day in day out basis for YEARS.
Too long a shopping list?
You may be waiting a long time - possibly forever- before you find someone.
No shopping list at all?
Once the initial sexual attraction has diminished you could be "stuck" with someone incompatible.
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